Scourge of France

It had been over 84 years since he had left Grit. He knew it had been the only thing he could do. When he was with her she spent more time in Letimund. She seemed to want to try and live life in Letimund more and due to her small form she got hurt. Every time she got hurt it was like someone stabbing his with a knife. Every time she cut herself he wanted it. It burnt him from the inside out every time he caught even a tiny bit of her scent. Drey was not known for his control, he was probably recorded somewhere as the most blood thirsty vampyre in existence. He never god bored and he practically never got full. He hadn’t noticed the latter until after he had left Grit. Before Grit he just ran on instinct and alone. Sex, blood and killing with the odd theft chucked in here and there.

Then he had met Grit. She gave him 5 years before he nearly ended up getting killed again. His Petite Mort. But in that century that he was with her he realised that he liked being with someone else. He liked actually being with another person. He hadn’t done anything for the first decade. He had left France and travelled Europe a little and debated going to America but couldn’t be bothered. After 5 minutes he was regretting his decision but he knew that Grit would be better off without him. Better off without a vampyre who could snap any minute and drain her dry. 

Drey had tried to turn someone after around 10 years. That was when he found that it was impossible. His blood was like acid and it killed anyone he tried to kill straight away. He had tested it out of a few peoples and realised that there likely was not a poison on the planet that killed faster than his blood did. It amused him for a few years before he worked out it meant something worse. He was stuck on his own. 

He didn’t really associate with other Remnants. They just reminded him of Grit. It was driving him mad but he kept the killings low. Grit had taught him how to kill just so much that the other remnants didn’t look in on him. He knew how far he could go in each town or city before he would have to move on again.

He tried to moderate how much he ate but found it impossible. It wasn’t that he didn’t have the will power but if he went more than a day or two the pain set in and he just felt weak with every passing minute let alone days. He captured a few vampyre over this time to see if this was a general thing or if it was another thing that was just him. 

After a few more years and 40 vampyres later he found out that it was another thing that was just known to him. That was probably around the time that Drey went toward anger. At everything. He killed anyone that dared to get too close to him and drank as much as his hunger told him too which now he knew was a damned sight more than everyone else. There was still one thing however. He never touched children. He had killed the most innocent adults that where on the planet but he would never touch children. Some people thought he did. He was just assumed to be a killer through and through. He was still known as the Scourge of France even if he had probably killed just as many people everywhere else but the name stuck.

He had a few other but Drey never really paid attention to them. He liked being the Scourge of France. After he had spent around 60 years on his own there where very few remnants that would go anywhere near him. He was unstable, violent and completely unpredictable. He would go from caring for someone to snapping their neck to feeding on them. By 80 years Drey was coming down of the anger and getting to what you could probably call a midlife crisis. However if you did be prepared to have your spine torn clean from your body. Due to his diet he was stronger than most vampyres, he fed more in a day than some did in a month or even a year depending on his mood.

He had his tattoos, he had his bike. The scythe on his chest was shaded perfect and stood out on his pale white skin. The only other mark on his chest was the circle of black thorns that lay over his heart. His bike was also his baby and had Grit written on it in beautiful writing. He would never explain it to anyone but then there were few people stupid enough to dare ask him about it anyway. 

Now you get to Drey today. He’s gone from anger to mothering and he’s back up now with a new plan. He can’t see a point of generally existing anymore considering the only person who cares about him and the only person he had ever cared about was no longer with him and although that he knew it was better from her he selfishly wanted her back. Either that or he wanted out. There was no fight and chase in it for him anymore; he’d lost the surge of life that kept him going.

He’d debated a few idea’s, he knew a few Angels he could find and piss off and get him himself up for execution again but that would be tricky in this day and age. Humanity had gotten bored of killing other humans for fun so they couldn’t do it as publically as they had in the past. It was laughable to him because he knew that humanity had not changed as much as it thought it had. They were running around thinking they were bigger and better watching people die but now they just watched people suffer. They were no better than your average vampyre and he definitely was not your average vampyre. He’d hit a few places so far. Function rooms, pubs, inn’s. He was starting a little bit of a pattern. So he wasn’t being stupid he was laying a trap. 

He just hoped there would be some hunter smart enough to realise what he was doing because he couldn’t make it any more obvious without it obviously looking like a trap. If you looked at a map there was a perfect straight line of the places he was hitting and leaving every one dead. Each place he was killing way over a hundred or so and there was barely a day in between each place. He was drinking enough so he didn’t really need sleep. He’d ran into a few hunters before but he had accidentally killed then when he was fighting them and they hadn’t even really been a threat to him. Last nights had been a funeral actually. Drey had found it quite amusing that he was killing every one at a funeral. He never touched the children, he made sure there were none in the room before he locked the doors and started killing every one.

A hunter had come around, he was boring and had ranted at him about him being an affront to the lord and all that crap but he had been too late. Drey only had a few people in the room left to kill and he had drank enough that his hand struck out with lightning and slammed the hunter onto one of the hooks for coats on the room. Drey was oddly amused by the way the hunter was stuck to the wall. He’d searched through the guys pocked and found a few things of interest, apparently hanging hunter dude was called Johnny. Not that it matter but hey, hunters like travelled in packs like coyotes so he could use him to get some smarter hunters. He found a map and realised Johnny had a bit on an idea of what he was doing. Drey filled in the ton of information he was missing. Heck maybe Drey was giving them too much credit. 

Grit said that vampyres brain died when they were turned. Drey was sure hunter’s didn’t have one to start off with. Heck if he could he’d turn one just for funsies. He worked the map in Johnny dear’s own writing and circled this and his next spot tomorrow. Added in a leaflet for the wedding he was planning on crashing tomorrow. He hadn’t done a wedding yet because people had an annoying tendency to bring kids. This one was fab though as there were no kids on the guest list as it was some sort of fancy midnight wedding thing. Humans were odd. It did however work for him. He grabbed Johnny dears phone and put it in his hand. Drey knew he was a dead man, he was just on borrowed time, he had maybe 15 minutes of slowly dying to go and there was no way of saving him. But hey! Maybe he could call a friend for help who will get pissed off and hell bent on revenge. 

Drey walked out of the room. Leaving 3 girls on the floor of the blood soaked room in complete and utter shock over what he had done. There had been no cameras in the funeral room but there was in the corridor. Drey had just walked in like a guest but he wanted to show whoever was going to find him next his face. He found a camera and pulled a table over so he could get up close and personal with it. He had never been a clean eater and there was blood staining half his face, neck and pure white silk shirt. He grinned and the camera and showed his fang brazenly. Drey never hid from anyone. He than stuck his finger up to the camera and sped off at vampyre speed from the building. Hell if that wasn’t a come and get me message he didn’t know what was.

He realised it was about 1am… he had quite a bit of time to kill. The wedding was in 2 days. He went back to the hotel room he had rented. Entering by scaling the walls seeing as he would likely cause a panic going in covered in blood. He slept for a while, showered and got rid of all of the blood. He hoped that some fun hunters had from hanging hunter… whatever him name was and that they would find the information he had left on him. They would likely think that hanging due had tracked him … Vampyre didn’t give their plans to people. It was like bad guy rule number one. Hell it was right up there with having your evil hoard where clear helmets so good guys couldn’t infiltrate.

It was around 10pm by the time he realised that he should start heading to this wedding. He hadn’t bothered scoring a date to this one. He was just going to turn up when the ceremony had started. There was only 1 door to the church there was no back entry and it was pretty much just one room so he wouldn’t even need to spend a long time securing the building.

He threw a pair of tight black jeans and his heavy boots before throwing on another white silk shirt. What so what if he was going a little bit Lestat on their asses. He was trying to get peoples attentions after all. Might as well do the whole whack. His hair was well past his shoulders by now as he hadn’t cut it in a good while. Hell even if he was wearing skin tight jeans and a frilly white silk shirt he still made it look good.

He got to the church at half past midnight and opened the large oak doors with ease. They took at least 10 people to open them manually and that was only from the outside. From inside it took a hell of a lot more. There was an automated button of the outside that you could use to open it and Drey found this was far more entertaining. Plus, he’d leave the button thing outside for the hunters to figure out. 

He pulled the doors out towards him and braced an arm on each door. They were only opened enough to let him walk through. He didn’t bother with a charade this time and grinned openly. Those closest to him scrambled to get away whilst people at the from where trying to get a better look. The priest looked terrified and the bride looked annoyed. Probably because he was interrupting. He sped to start of the walk way down the middle of the isles and was stood relaxed as the door sprang back and slammed shut. He held his hand up and showed the people what he had, the only way of opening the door, he had torn it clean of the wall and crushed it in front of them before slamming his hands together in a deafening crack that echoed over the silent church, everyone in shock. Drey loved this part, the quiet before the storm, the silence before the din of screen that would start any minute now.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I do apologise for interrupting your little get together … Wait no I don’t. I have been planning this for nearly 3 whole days so you should think your self honoured really. I’m surprised you don’t know me already… Oh wait.” Drey snapped his fingers and sighed as if he was remembering something obvious. “I keep forgetting that you humans are trying to believe you are the only sentient people on this planet… top of the food chain and blah blah… Blah.” He emphasized the last Blah as he walked up to the groom and turned him to face him. He was still speaking loud enough for everyone to hear him but he kept a hand on each of the grooms shoulders.“Your not Btw. You little happy meals with legs running around in different flavours…” He dipped his head to the man and smelt his neck before pulling back with a frown on his face. “Ew. As with everyone there has to be a flavour I hate. You sir are it.” Drey grinned before snapping the grooms neck. The sound was as loud as a gunshot and echoed through the large church. Barely a second later the crowd erupted into panic, people screaming and running for the door.

“What…. No offers? Ah well. You’re all in my lunch box now.” Drey grinned to the bride who was stunned as she dropped to the floor and was seemingly moving through sludge after seeing her soon to be husband dead on the floor. “Don’t worry sweety, your AB Neg, I’m saving you for desert.” Drey grinned and winked at her before speeding towards the pass of people screaming and hammering to get out. He picked a few of from the back almost lazily. Before any of them knew it he had drain 5 people dead and thrown them back towards the chains not caring where they went. His chin, neck and the front of his white silk shirt where already stained red and that wasn’t about to change, it would just get worse. Drey’s thirst outmatched pretty much every vampyre in existence and he didn’t know why. Nor did he care.

By the time it was getting to 1am Drey was starting to think the hunter couldn’t make it or they were just really late. Stupid hunters. There was around 6 people left and over a 130 dead. The stone floor of the church was pretty much dyed red and the few people left where slipping and failing to run on the slick floor properly. Drey however was used to it and wore boots that gripped pretty much anything. Well he wasn’t about to cover a room in blood to find that he could walk in it was he. The church might as well have been a canvas, everything was how he had wanted it and the brides dress was pretty much stained red and matched with his shirt. She hadn’t moved from the alter which didn’t shock Drey. She was still in shock when he walked over to her and pulled her up so she was standing in front of him.

He looped his right hand around her back and held her straight up against him, she didn’t resist or anything and Drey didn’t waste time before going for her neck. Definitely worth saving till the end. Her blood was the sweetest out of every one in the church. Drey grinned but didn’t stop feeding of her when he heard the noise of the doors opening. He waited until the doors had opened before raising his head. Keeping his arm around the still conscious girl, her dress had more red that white now and was pretty much identical to his shirt. Drey turned his head and saw that he had attracted two hunters this time. Maybe they would be enough to put him on Grit’s list. Drey grinned at them and kept the girl in his arms, she was leant back slightly, her neck openly bleeding out and even her blonde hair was partially stained with blood by this time.

“You’re a bit late for the wedding, but just in time for the main show.” He swung the girl back up to him and planted a kiss on her lips before snapping her neck and dropped her to the floor infront of him where her body fell down the few steps onto the isle. Drey rubbed his hands together and looped him thumbs into her belt loops and kept his usual cocky expression on his face. “So boys, you’ve found me. What’s your next move?”

With a One.. Two... Three...

It was Dark. But then it was always dark. He hadn’t seen light for a while. Loki didn’t quite know when he had last seen light but it had to have been a good while ago. His stomach was in knots and was twisting in his stomach. He would curl up to make the cramps go away. The urge to simply pull his legs up to his chest was almost strangling but of course he couldn’t move. He could never move. The straps held them tight as they always did. The strips of touch fabric that he couldn’t break biting into his skin. The pain from them didn’t both him. That was a constant that he could focus on. What he hated was that the way they were bound meat that he could barely move.

His arms where locked in the jacket with scratchy material that had irritated his skin once. A long time ago, not it was just their and if he ever managed to move a little the material would slip of his skin and itch. He could move a little, his head dropped to one side, which was the most amount of movement that he could ever manage to do. There was nothing for him to lean his head on so his neck was always sore. He strained his legs and arms for the unknown time. He had stopped counting when he had devised that counting gave him a concept of time. With a concept of time the lack drove him insane. Not having what he needed, this way he could just refer to the last time as yesterday. His body new different of course. The withdrawal was what made his strain uselessly against the bonds. Wasting energy that he didn’t have.

He wouldn’t die however, he was too valuable. At least in his mind he was, he figured that they must need him to feed from, that was why they kept him down here trapped and waiting. He didn’t know if there was a reason why he had been left for such a long time but he didn’t care. He was needed. He knew that he needed them too, the fact it had been so long was a point of that, his skin felt like it was crawling most of the time. His eyes where dry and scratchy but he couldn’t raise his hands to them. His mouth was bone dry and if he spoke his voice would crack but that wasn’t a problem, he couldn’t remember the last time he had heart his own voice. There was the voice in his head but he had no idea if the two sounded that same.

The one in his head was strong, it had a little to it that pretty much bordered on crazy but that was nothing new. Ideas of people or things being crazy didn’t really apply to Loki any more. He had sat in a blank room with no light for so long that his mind was forced to find a way to cope between the people. The people! That was what made him hold on. Every now and then he would hear… something. It was always so far away but he seemed to have really good hearing. As far as he knew he was alone down here. There had been people in the room next door once but that had been silent for so long. He spent moments waiting for the click of the lock. Not even the lock for his room. There where doors before you got to his and he heard everything from the first click of the lock, it was what brought him back to lucidity.

He opened and closed his mouth a few times, hating the dryness, he was awake and looking around the room but he heard nothing so he figured he had imagined the click. It happened sometimes.

Then he heard it again. The door closed. It was deafening to him.



Spin

Loki strained against the bonds again, wishing he could move from the chair or make a noise to get the person to come to the room. It must have been longer this time as his stomach lurched at the thought of someone being there. He was hungry for food, water. Most thought he was hungry for fear. The footsteps towards the room brought it out of him.

Spin in a Circle

He was used to the fear, it didn’t affect others like it did him. He loved it, hell he lived for it. The person walking around out there brought it out in him but it was always there. It just needed waking up. It was asleep when he was out of it but when he was lucid it was always there just under the surface scraping and scratching at the edges of his subconscious to get out.

Ring a-ring o' roses

Even if they didn’t make it too his room. There was the fear that they would simply turn and leave again. The fear that no one would come to his room. That the first chance he had had in ages to see another person, hopefully someone from the family, could be smashed onto the ground and out of his reach because he couldn’t move.

A pocketful of posies

He wondered if some of the people who walked down here even knew he was here. It had been getting emptier and emptier for such a long time that part of his mind whispered to him incessantly. Telling him over and over that he had been forgotten and left. Every time he started listening however someone would come and give him water and a tiny piece of food.

a-tishoo!, a-tishoo!

It was enough every time though. To quash the feeling that he was abandoned and left alone. That someone still knew that he was down here and soon they would be back and would give him exactly what he needed. He didn’t get it which was when the voice started up again, incessantly pushing on his mind telling him he should just die.

We all fall down

Hee strained again, they were closer this time. It was getting harder to hear them over the sound of his own blood rushing in his head. He tensed his body time and time again and pulled uselessly against the straps. They were designed to specifically hold him. At full strength. Right now regular straps could have held him without issue.

Ashes in the water,

His mind focused on the words of the rhyme circling in his brain. He loved the rhyme. He didn’t know where he had learnt it or when it even got into his mind. That didn’t matter however, it was always there. They rhyme was brilliant, such a morbid topic for a rhyme designed for children, it spread fear but he was fear and that was what he needed.

Ashes in the sea

Right now the fear was running out of control throughout him and it was practically falling of him. If that was a Xencar walking toward him they would feel it. He had worked out that it attracted them. When someone else had as much fear as he did right now they were in a corner hiding. Loki was sat, now perfectly still and no longer straining against the ties. No his head was just hung a little but his eyes where focused on the blank dark space that he knew the door was.

It had been so long since it was opened.

We all jump up

Then it did. The light was blinding but he barely flinched as the pain registered to him. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. The door was open and that was all that mattered …

With a one-two-three...

Dorian's Strife...

Dorian hated taking time off work. Work was where he got rid of all of his pent up stress and heck the man had a lot of that. He was pretty much running on stress 90% of the time and his wife Janice wasn’t exactly around to help him get rid of it. So he worked, he was damned good at it as well. He was one of the best Repo’s in general and he had no plans of getting lax. Albeit he was one of the few Repo’s that would just keep going and get very little sleep. It wasn’t as if he had a loving wife at home… more the harpy that took all of his money and loved to throw frying pans at his head. He only thing he did which was clockwork – was the fact he always came home around 10 minutes after his son’s bed time. Janice never noticed which was just the way he liked it. It was another thing that was going to be difficult on this… vacation.

Dorian was pretty sure vacations were supposed to be a good thing… but now he was thinking the vacations where only a good thing to people who didn’t like their jobs. Dorian loved his job, heck he had the best job on the planet. He worked with his brother and even now and then he worked with Jessie. He could trust the two of them with his life and in this day and age that was something spectacular. Dorian had been about to call in a favour with Zach, get him to throw an emergency his way or something. Anything to get him out of spending a whole damned month with the women. 

He didn’t even know why she was doing it, she wasn’t exactly one for spending time with him and he was with her. She was convinced Dorian was cheating on him when Dorian didn’t hit on anything. Much to his brothers dismay anyway. It wasn’t really… him. Heck he didn’t really feel anything towards anyone except for the people who he considered his family. Of which Janice was not a member.

The only thing that stopped him however was Carter. The second Carter had told Dorian that he wanted to go Dorian was packed. Well, that wasn’t strictly true. He was packed before the vacation idea was even mentioned too him seeing as Janice was concerned that he might not dress properly. There was likely a whole time of high necked shirts in there. Dammit. Dorian hated covering his tattoo and he hated wearing shirts that had collars in general anyway. They were itchy and way to tight. He couldn’t however go shirtless… that was unless he wanted his wife to catch an eye full of all of his tattoo’s…

Well heck, if his working month was getting royally screwed over and he wasn’t getting to screw the bitch then why not screw the wife over.

Dorian stayed quiet on the way there, generally he and Janice didn’t speak unless she was throwing stuff at him. Which happened quite a lot, Dorian had learnt to see it as some kind of advanced training. He was certainly harder to knock out than he had been nine years ago, hell two hits with the frying pan back in those days and it was a K.O. totally. Now hell she usually got to 4 or 5 before Dorian got pissed off and slam the bloody frying pan into the dry wall. The only thing that pissed him off was that she never used the sodding thing anyway and only he did for making pancakes for his son.

Although he’d clocked that pretty fast in the dynamic that was his marriage. He had like a thousand frying pans hidden in the garage. Janice always looked so smug when he slammed the pan into the wall but feck it – she never beat his smug look when he walked in later with a new pan.

When he had got married his brother had had amazing words of wisdom. Well – they were more words of mocking his brother whilst they were waiting for Janice to get and the marriage crap to happen – he’d said that now he was married that was the end of sex… he would never get to screw around anymore.

He had been right and then wrong at the same time. True, he hadn’t got laid in a while but his marriage was entirely about screwing. Heck he and his wife barely went 5 minutes without screwing each other over in one way of the other. Although, this vacation… this ONE month vacation… was certainly the biggest screw over she had come up with since she had swapped all the rooms around when he had been working just to screw with his head. Although he had decided that it was time the wife found out about his art. She was certainly not going to be impressed considering that one of them was two rings joined and pretty much everyone knew that he and Janice where not ring mates.

That alone made him smile in the car.

And that there was enough to piss off Janice.

The rest of the journey… was well. He’d like to say uneventful but when he swerved to not hit a fox Janice had screamed that he was trying to kill her. Complete over reaction – so what they were driving on a mountain edge. Dorian was a very good driving. Carter had loved it.

The hotel was horrible. It was all full of blonde hair bimbo’s with as many fake bits on the outside as they undoubtedly had on the inside. Damned if he had his scanner he was sure he would make a damned killing in a place like this. Looking at the girls and the fact they were stick thing and looked around 90% plastic that was likely going to be literal. 

A few people looked at him and Dorian slipped his sunglasses on before carrying every dammed bag the Janice had packed. Why the woman needed that much clothes he never understood it. She always wore the same damned thing anyway so why she needed the same piece of clothing 40 times? Was beyond him. Before meeting Jessie he would have said it was a woman thing, however Jessie wasn’t like that and didn’t have 400 million outfits. Although seeing her in little clothing was virtually the same thing as seeing a sister in virtually nothing she actually pulled it off without looking like a whore.

That comment was not wise to say to Janice when drunk… one of the many times that Dorian should not have listened to his brother.

She pushed the fridge on him.

Dorian was not impressed, he’d hat to go through the whole rigmarole of buying another fridge as seeing as he was drunk he had just chucked the fridge of his chest and knocked it into a wall.

Stupid bloody wall. The amount he paid for in home repairs he’d practically bought the house twice.

Dorian had not said anything, he had dumped all of these things in the adjoining rooms… He had not been impressed to find that there was 2 rooms. 1 for her and 1 for Carter. Oh fantastic. Dorian didn’t even blinked and made himself a bed up on the floor in Carters room. He managed to go 4 days sleeping on the floor. By the end of those 4 hellish days Dorian had a chronic case of back ache as his wife seemed to have found a hospital with the most evil floor on the planet. He had slept on pavements more comfortably.

Seriously – who calls up a hotel and goes… “Hi, How’s the view over the pool… ahuh… ahuh… How comfortable are your floor? Oh Comfortable? Na you’re out… Hang on… Can you recommend somewhere with reaaaally uncomfortable floors?” Actually that was an easy answer. Janice.

He was wearing yet another horrendously uncomfortable shirt and they had decided to go to the pool. The look of Dorian’s face had been enough to cause the manager to flee from the room looking positively green when Dorian had asked if they had any bread rolls left… He really wasn’t in a good mood.

Janice had stropped of, dragging Carter who was cracking up laughing at all the people who were trying to not look at his dad. The loving wife had not packing him any swimming clothes. Or any vaguely summer like clothes so Dorian had been cooking for 4 damned days. If Dan was here he bet that even his brother would be impressed with the level of patient he was exerting. Dorian walked out towards Janice and Carter and dropped the towel down on the sunbed. He shot his wife a smile and she was instantly on edge and knew he was planning something. Heck who said married couldn’t communicate without words.

He undid his shirt and turned his back on the wife before chucking in on to the sun bed and shrugging out of the horrible jeans. He was down to his boxers and knew his wife was glaring holes in his back. The wings on his back covered the lot and the ends of this wings where still covered by his boxers. He flexed his muscles and stretched his arms above his head before walking to the edge of the pool. “What. You didn’t back me swim wear.” Dorian grinned and dove into the pool. By the time he had surface a lot of people sitting around the pool had vanished, Carter was clapping as if he had just seen the best thing ever. Janice was not impressed.

Things had gone downhill from there. Well if they could anyway, they had pretty much started the holiday underneath the hill to start off with.

Dorian and Janice argued virtually every day. Well Janice yelled and Dorian just sat sunbathing for the best part. Until she smashed his sunglasses. The manager would have kicked them out except that even when Dorian was in a good mood he didn’t exactly look like the happiest person and seeing that he was sleeping on concrete he was unimpressed with about everything. By the time they left – they were the only people there and the manager looked as if he was about to have a heart attack. And Dorian was at least 90% sure that the man did when after they had left he had turned and gave the man a big grin and a wave.

The journey back was just as eventful. Janice screeched the whole time that Dorian was speeding. Okay so he was going around 100 mph over the speed limit and flying around hair pin corners like no one’s business. Dorian was a damned good driver; he was perfect at driving, drive under the speed limit? Now THAT was hard! Dorian however was ignoring her. Around 40 minutes in to the drive he had gotten rid of his shirt. Janice was actually too mad to even yell at him. It was a blessing and the trip went fast.

The second they hit the house Dorian unloaded hugged Carter and shot back into the car and he was gone in a flash. Sending a few messages to let people know he was back, he had around 8 texts back in the space of a minute all saying the same thing. 90°. He swung into his drive of his own house and got changed. Nearly sighing in relief that he had a comfortable torn shirt and trousers on that didn’t itch or cover his tattoo. They were celebrating and Dan was chatting about girls, he let him – heck he had damned missed it. Following Dan’s life was his version of a soap except that Dan’s version was more unrealistic and had more sex. Dorian didn’t think it was possible but hell his brother proved him wrong time and time again.

Ninja Diary - 5

Day 5 

Woken up by Jewel’s again. As was sleeping on rectangle this time she chose to sit on me. Hawk has just left out window. Hope she finds good breakfast. Will get her another piece of toast this morning as Hawk likes toast. Clarissa came to room again and asked why I was under hoodies.

Explained that all though bed clothes where nice they were cold. Clarissa point at open window… I pointed at hawk. Jewels pointed out that there were layers to the bed and top one was a blanket. Dan came and said the same. Decided to test theory…

Bed very comfortable… slept extra two house and Jewels is jumping on bed…

Beds are very bouncy… Think I may join Jewels.

Dan came upstairs when me and Jewel’s where bouncing on bed and had the Dan look on his face again. Jumped of bed to get changed so could train with Dan.

Dan informed me is polite to wait until everyone leaves before getting undressed. Jewel’s fled giggling and Dan muttered something about seeing enough naked guys to last him 12 life times. Found loose trousers that would be good to train in. Not bothering with top as am going to be training.

Made it to kitchen and had 2 pieces of toast when Clarissa jumped on me.

She keeps stroking my hair and shoulders and calling me poor boy. Dan has that look on his face again. Really will have to ask about that at some point. 

Managed to get free from Clarissa via white and yellow can diversion orchestrated with Jewel’s and Hawk. Dan had new look on face and I flash stepped him through wall into garden. Dan looks a little green. Told Dan to sit today out as he looks ill.

Showed Dan my training regime. Dan still looks green but with Dan look on face.

Flash stepped Dan back into house onto sofa.

Have been slapped and told no flash stepping through walls as it scared Clarissa. 

Got changed into bed clothes again and took yellow can to bed. Dan said there are more cans so I don’t have to horde this one. Explained to Dan that I didn’t want to kill another can so soon. Went to bed after.

Bed layers are better than hoodies for sleeping. Hawk still inside.

Ninja Diary - 4

Day 4 

Ow – Flaw in new sleeping arrangements. Jewel’s bouncing on rectangle is bad was to wake up. Jewel’s then tried to get me out by pulling legs. Considering staying under bed.

Bad plan… Jewels calling people.

… Am stuck…

Dan has arrived in room as has Clarissa. Finally got out from under rectangle. Much easier when Jewels not sat on top. Dan seemed confused that I was sleeping under the rectangle. Clarissa seemed concerned that I was still wearing clothes from yesterday. Have been informed should wear different clothes to sleep in.

Was going to question but Dan motioned not to. Will trust Dan’s advices to avoid getting poked.

Win! Avoided getting poked. Now have clothes to wear to sleep. Trousers and shirt… light green colour and think it has little pictures on it. Turns out picture are clovers. Tried clothes on and asked Dan about them. He gave odd look before telling me it was good and pointing out that I should sleep on the rectangle instead of under it. Also been informed rectangle is bed.

Probably should of asked Dan what bed meant on day 1… would have solved a lot of issues. Must follow Dan to learn more about living in a house. It is complicated.

Have been following Dan for 3 hours. He seems nervous.

Clarissa did not seemed impressed as she found out Hawk slept in room with me. Informed that Hawk stays with me. Stopped following Dan to feed Hawk. Hawk doesn’t seem impressed with yellow can but likes other things. Clarissa doesn’t like that I feed hawk. Currently more concerned that I don’t eat with cut-ler-ee.

Dan showed me cutlery. Asked Dan if he would like to train with me tomorrow as he had been kind enough to share his wisdom with me. Dan gave me the Dan look again. Jewel’s giggle and told Dan that I was ‘kick ass’. Have been informed this is good.

Will sleep on rectangle tonight in green bed suit. Very comfortable. Bed is soft. Am quite cold however as bed clothes are thin. Sleeping under 3 of the hoodies. Hawk still inside. 

Ninja Diary - 3

Day 3 

Woken up by Clarissa… Bitten by hawk… Considering going back to sleep and waking up again to see if day improves.

Day is not improving. Have been poked with stick. Decided would wake up and exit tree as Clarissa does not seem to be impressed with my choice of sleeping arrangements. She told me I have messed clothes up again and that she would take me shopping…

Asked Dan about new words. He pointed out that jeans had bark on which was why Clarissa didn’t want me in a tree and that shopping would get me new clothes. Dan said this like it was a bad thing. Asked Dan why it was bad… Dan said it was unavoidable and that I would survive. Expecting to have to fight when I go shopping. May have to get more training.

Dan also showed me to a room and said it was mine and said I was to sleep in it. Doesn’t look comfortable but Dan said that it was better than getting poked with a broom. Trust Dan’s advices. Dan is wise. Told him so and he had strange look again. Am starting to think that is a Dan look. Have noted in book with picture reference.

Return from… Shopping. Dan was correct in his assessment that shopping is bad… Didn’t know women had that much energy and didn’t know there where that many different clothes in existence. Have new hoodies though. Although Clarissa keeps pulling hood down when I’m in house. Dan gives Clarissa the Dan look when she does this.

Keep putting hood back up…

Jewel’s likes new game… Clarissa keeps sneaking up and pulling hood down. Dan said something about grey hairs. When I asked he said it was a thing. Added to list of Dan things. Look and Hair now.

Hawk has now sat on head. Can’t pull hood down. Win.

Yellow can still not functioning. Dan informed me it was empty… Feel bad for killing yellow can.

Jewels has given me new can… feel guilty about old can so have buried in garden.

Clarissa not happy than I dug hole in the garden. Dan recommended sleep and took me to the room he said was mine. Opened window for hawk and slept underneath rectangle thing in the room. Oddly cofortable.

Ninja Diary - 2

Day 2 

Woken up by water… Not pleasant.

Found out water came from odd demon device… Have killed demon device. Clarissa does not seem impressed. She is mumbling about buying a new sprink-ler… not sure what that is but think it may have connection to demon device…

Clarissa lost interest in sprink-ler… now more interested in fact I am dripping in the kitchen… did not know that this room is kitchen. Am writing list of important words in back of pink book. Clarissa has given me new clothes. I like the ‘hoodie..’ as Dan informed me.

Dan seemed impressed with list and informed me that sprinkler waters grass so it grows. Not demon device. Now understand why Clarissa didn’t want me to kill it. Dan is good, reminds me of teacher who wants students to learn. Told Dan I have great respect for him and he gave me an odd look.

Just read back to yesterday… must retrieve yellow stuff in can to ask Jewels how to make it come out more as it does not function for me.

Jewels has taught me how to use can to make yellow stuff come out. Also different cans have different colours. I prefer yellow… Jewels likes the white one and let me try some. Still prefer yellow. Dan walked in whilst Jewels was teaching me how to use can and had odd look on face.

Must do something nice to Dan. 

May hunt animal and give him spoils… Will look into local wildlife soon.

Tire again… Clarissa has replaced sprinkler device and don’t want to get wet again.

Found tree that is out of radius of sprinkler device. Will sleep in tree. Yellow can has stopped producing stuff. Maybe has time factor. Will check in morning.

Ninja Diary - 1

Day 5475563 Day 1

I have been give strange pink book type thing. Jewels states that it is good to records daily events and told me I should do the same. Have moved into new house type place… Odd building. Not sure of it yet…

Have been informed that Day in this book is not chronological but from now rather than when I was born. When I asked why I had a can type thing chucked at my head whilst Jewels is giggling from bed. Although have had things chucked at my head and Hawk is not impressed I like new incarnation of Jewels.

Don’t know much about new master though. Jewel’s says he is good and I trust he judgement.

Am apparently in bedroom. Have been informed it is Jewel’s. She is impressed by it. Porter also lurking, he is always good. Still unsure what high 5 means when Shawn is around.

Thanks to fighting at that party type place am quite tired. Going to find garden and sleep.

Have been informed must take pen and book with me to write when I am in bed.

Not sure what bed is…

Found window and jumped out. Hawk is flying above. Grass seems very short and neat… wonder how they make it grow so square. Brought book with me, and can that Jewel’s threw at me… can has button…

Yellow stuff came out of the can…

Yellow stuff tastes good…

Cannot work out how to access yellow stuff faster. Must ask Jewels about it in morning.